One of the first words a child learns is the word “no.” Ask any two-year-old if they want an ice cream cone, and they’ll say “no” even as they reach for it. They know the word; they know it’s a way to express their burgeoning independence. But sometimes they’re not quite clear on its meaning. […]

“That sounds so selfish.” That comment is voiced regularly in my office and I’m delighted when I hear it. It shows me that there’s some awareness of a feeling that’s uncomfortable enough to examine. Usually, the “that sounds so selfish” question comes from the belief that the wishes of others should come first. That’s the […]

Do you go down rabbit holes? Does it take you off course? My invitation to rabbit holes is resistance. For me, resistance is not so much about staying stuck in one place as it is about not staying the course. Instead of persisting, of staying the course, I resist—by chasing rabbits. I’d much rather race […]

This is probably the most difficult question for people to answer when they meet with me. The answer usually quickly degrades into wanting people in their lives to change and do something differently. But those things are not up for grabs here. Directing the lives of others is beyond your authority. This is not about […]