When I was a young teenager, my quiet, steadfast stepfather gave me a lamp. Not an electric lamp, but one in which oil is the fuel and a wick provides the light. He attached a small note to the gift. It said, “Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto […]

Driving into town, on my way to yoga, I found myself at my old office. How’d that happen? After all, they aren’t even in the same neighborhood. Well, I drove the route to that office for many years and autopilot took over as I took the familiar exit rather than paying attention to where I […]

Differing points of view can lead to conflict. We see that every day in small events in our personal lives to large global clashes. We are all brought up with different rules of engagement, particular to our home. How to navigate the differences in small encounters helps prevent the larger battles. When I was a […]

  Tragedy strikes. And it breaks our heart open. Sometimes we get stretched beyond all reason, beyond all endurance, to the point of breaking. Seeing it, my heart goes out with compassion.   Compassion for ourselves, for our daily failures. Compassion for others, for helplessness in the face of powers greater than human. Compassion that […]

“That sounds so selfish.” That comment is voiced regularly in my office and I’m delighted when I hear it. It shows me that there’s some awareness of a feeling that’s uncomfortable enough to examine. Usually, the “that sounds so selfish” question comes from the belief that the wishes of others should come first. That’s the […]

Whether I’m getting my hair cut, having dinner with a friend or sitting on the therapist’s seat, I hear stories of emotional and physical abuse. Maybe this is because some people I come across know of my book, Sweet Relief From the Everyday Narcissist, and feel safe talking with me.  Or perhaps it’s because the phenomenon of narcissistic […]

Ever get to that place where you “lose your cool”? The hotter it gets, it seems, the easier it is to lose it. And when you loose your cool, nobody feels good afterwards. Your target doesn’t like that kind of attention, and then there’s the guilt that swamps over you, leaving shame and embarrassment in […]

If you follow along with me on FB, you know transitions have been a theme the last few weeks. One thing that makes them doable is the punctuation at the end. (I was saddened when I learn that two spaces after a period was no longer proper grammatical style.) Ok, so I’ll change metaphors. The […]

You’ve celebrated—or survived—another Mother’s Day. Whatever the day held, your experience of Mother’s Day was unique. It was yours, and yours alone. But the question I want to ask on this week after Mother’s Day is universal. Now that you’ve had your experience of Mother’s Day, how did you mother yourself? Were you kind and […]

When I think of celebrating Mother’s Day, I think of having my children here at home with me, spending time together as a family. That would be the perfect gift.   Or would it?   On the one hand, being with my kids and doing something special, like going on a bike ride together on […]